When I was younger and even now I have always had a problem with standing up or advocating for myself. I have let people slide with saying and doing crazy things to me for years. That is one thing that I vowed I would never allow my children to do. I want them to know when and how to stand up for themselves. I don’t want them to ever feel like they have to be quiet.
Recently my daughter was having an issue with a teacher. I was so proud of her cause she showed me that she knew how to handle herself. She came and talked to me about what was going on. I am not going to say exactly what the situation was but her and the teacher have been having issues since pretty much the beginning of the school year. I actually stepped in on one occasion and spoke with the teacher but that was at my daughter’s request. As she is growing into a young woman I am realizing that I need to step back more and let her handle things like this more. It is really hard to do because I just want to save her from everything. I am learning this with Tyler as well. Although he hasn’t had any situations that I know of besides dealing with girls as of late. Here is how I teach my kids to be their own advocates:
- I am their sounding board. I allow my kids to come with their issues and just listen. This is really hard cause I just want to fix things for them. So I guess this is good for me too.
- I give advice. I give them advice on who to talk to and maybe people who can help them rectify the situation. I give them encouragement on how to handle the situation.
- I step in when they ask me to. With this situation I just held back until my daughter asked me for help.
This is a whole new stage for me because I am realizing that pretty soon my kids are getting closer and closer to leaving the nest. I am beginning to realize that I will not always be able to come to the rescue. It is hard to make the adjustment but I know it’s something I have to do. So now I am adjusting to just giving some advice that I hope will help them. Cause pretty soon I won’t be able to step in all. I will only be able to help so much. I hope they keep talking to me. I was glad that I was able to help her out this time.