One of the things that I am struggling with as of late is not saving my kids from themselves. Letting go has always been pretty hard for me. I have been working on it I really have. But it is so hard. I don’t want the to fail and not succeed in the things that the want to succeed in. So I always try to be their safety net. Now that they are almost adults I am forcing myself to step back more and let them come to me if they need help. But I am realizing now that me being their safety net is actually hindering them from the lessons they could learn from failing. Number one thing is if they don’t fail the will always expect me to save them. I understand that my kids have to define what they want their life to be on their own. Plus just because I don’t agree with their decisions doesn’t mean their decisions are wrong. But to help me let go more I have decided to come up with some benefits of letting your children fail
Some benefits of letting your children fail are:
- They will learn to problem solve on their own. Failing will teach kids how to solve problems. This is hard for me. I always want to save my kids so I always try to fix their problems for them. Now I am learning to guide instead of fix.
- They will learn that failure doesn’t mean they can’t succeed. I try to let my kids know that just because they fail at something it doesn’t mean they have to give up on whatever they are trying to do. They may have to do it another way but not give up.
- They will find independence. Kids will learn that they can handle things on their own and won’t need Mom and Dad to always step in when times get hard. I am coming to terms with this. It’s hard to realize that my kids won’t need me as much as they used to. I want them to be free but I still want the to need me. However I know they will need me differently.
- It builds their confidence. Well the well they pick themselves up from the failure can build their confidence. Once they come out of the failure and learn the lesson that they are suppose to learn from it they come out a different person.
- It can make them more successful. If your children fail they can definitely come out more successful. The lessons from their failure can definitely make them great people.
As I think about these benefits I am finding that I am okay with stepping back a little more. I recent weeks I have been encouraging myself to give advice when it is needed and step in when I need to. I know I can’t handle everything for them. I have to let them ail so they learn to pick themselves up.