When I had my first child I never knew how hard it would be to deal with judgment. Everyone has something to say about the way you raise your children. Everyone knows what’s right or wrong for your child. In parenting it’s pretty much you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. It just never really seems to end. I am leaning that as a parent you have to do things with confidence. All you can do is do your best. Own up to your mistakes when you need to and know that you are doing everything possible to kick butt at this parenting thing.
One thing that I am finding very helpful is to have a group of people who are also parents that basically just support you. A parenting tribe of sorts. We don’t have to have the same parenting style. We are just there to listen to each other and lend advice when needed. The best part is that we don’t judge each other. Well right now I only have one person. The rest are of course my husband and my mom is a great listener. It is quite possible to have different parenting styles and still be friends and supportive. I’ve learned that you need people around you that will just support and not judge. People who will hug you and talk you off the ledge when you just want to throw in the towel. Just last week I found myself having to defend some decisions I have made when it comes to raising my kids. It was someone I was close to and it was really hurtful but after going to my tribe I felt better. Kids aren’t cookie cutter. What applies to one child doesn’t apply to another.
My people have come in handy in many occasions. Especially when sometimes people think they know what is best for your child. Sometimes you just aren’t strong enough to take the judgment so you need support. But having people around you to help you stand strong is just encouraging. I do not always know if I am making the right decisions when it comes to my kids but I know I am doing the best that I can. I know that I want them to know that I love them and that I am doing all that I can to make sure they turn into great individuals.
Here are some things that make up my perfect tribe:
- My people are very supportive. They know how to just listen and don’t always judge.
- They know how to give advice in a respectful way and not force it down my throat.
- They respect your parenting style even though theirs is different.
- They know how to tell the truth in a respectful way.
- They know how to have fun when it calls for it.
As parents we should help each other when we can not bring each other down. Parenting is hard enough without us making it harder by always passing judgment.
Do you have a parenting tribe?