“You are ugly.”
“You are too dark.”
“You’re too skinny”
“You’re too fat.”
“You’re not good enough”
“You shouldn’t wear that”
“If you wore make up you would be prettier.”
“You look like a vampire with those teeth.”
These are just a few things I have heard over my life time. I could go on and on but I think you get the idea. Honestly these are the same things that I heard whenever I looked in the mirror to do anything. I do mean anything. Wash my face, brush my teeth, do my hair, or anything. Hearing those things can really take a toll on you. The sad part is I actually started to actually believe these things. Those hours it took me to get dress was mainly because I couldn’t decide what to wear because I didn’t want to hear those things. These things really shaped how I felt about myself. Then of course my body changed and then I had to learn to accept my new body. Meaning I’m not as skinny as I use to be. I am not who I use to be. I don’t remember the exact day but one day I was looking in the mirror and I was trying to get my hair just perfect. I looked in the mirror and told myself that no matter what I am beautiful. I just started saying it over and over again “I am beautiful.” I complimented myself on great things about me. I realized that I only look horrible because I accepted that other people thought I looked horrible. I could look in the mirror one minute and think I look great. Leave the bathroom and someone could just look like they disapprove and go back in the bathroom and start tearing myself down. It was just that easy. Now I am making it easier to accept myself. Whenever I walk in the bathroom whether it’s out loud or mentally I tell myself I am gorgeous or some sort of compliment.
Now that doesn’t go to say that there aren’t things that I want/need to fix. But I don’t want to start fixing things as a broken person. I’ve learned that if you aren’t accepting who you are now you will never be happy. So I have decided I am going to accept the gorgeous woman that I am now. I am improving every day. I am challenging myself with my looks. Like I have definitely been wearing my hair out more. I feel that now that I’ve shed some of the negative now I can have a little bit more fun without feeling judged. Cause honestly no one was judging me harder than I am. As I come into my own more I am beginning to just enjoy life. I don’t know if it is age or what but as I move forward I am becoming even more free.
I’m doing what I can to make myself feel beautiful. I need to make sure I make myself feel gorgeous everyday. By accepting myself I am doing exactly what I need to do to make me feel great. I know if I feel it I will show it.
How do you make yourself feel good?