Nishe’ has been in college for about 3 months now. When she went to college my crazy self was thinking okay my job is done she is an adult now I can let her fly. But I have quickly learned that, that is not the case. She is in what I call an in-between stage. She is not quite a child and not quite an adult. She is in the middle. She stills needs guidance and help.
I remember my in between stage except mine was totally different than hers. I was married at 18 and I didn’t go to college. So my in between stage was spent trying to figure out how to be an adult and a wife. Her experience is definitely different than mine. Sometimes I get so frustrated with her for not doing certain things that I would do. Like for instance know to set an orthodontics appointment without me having to tell her. But then I have to remember that I was doing that for her for years so I can’t expect her to suddenly do it all by herself. She is still in school. She still doesn’t know to ask certain questions to like people she owes money to or need help from. I remember the first time I had to call a company and make payment arrangements for a bill. I was so nervous cause I didn’t know what to say. I made it through the conversation but it wasn’t easy. To this day I hate dealing with customer service but it has to be done. This thing called adulthood takes time to learn. Heck I am still learning. Just when you think you have it all figured out there is something else to learn. So some of the things I am getting angry at her for she just hasn’t learned yet. I need to slow down and remember how hard it was for me to grasps certain things. When they are babies we don’t expect them to walk and talk as soon as they are born so why do we expect them to just suddenly be adults.
Here are a few things to remember while your new adult is dealing with the in between stage:
- They just became adults like 5 seconds ago. Don’t expect them to know everything about being an adult right then there.
- Be patient. Remember it took you time to get used to being on your own as well.
- They still need you. Yes all though they are adults your children still need you. Probably more now than when they were younger.
- Listen. Sometimes they just need you to listen not to point out everything they are doing wrong. Trust me they already know.
- Guidance. Remember they still need your guidance. Yes they have left the nest but they don’t completely understand the world.
- You are still learning too. Remember you are still trying to figure this world out as well. No one has it all figured out.
As I watch her learn what she needs to know I become proud of her to see her figuring things out. I remind myself that her dad and I will always be there for her. Her and her brother are going to be awesome. I know that The Husband and I are giving them the tools that they need and what they don’t know we will help them learn. But I know they are going to take the world by storm.