Another thing I am working on in 2019 is learning to set boundaries. I have never been good at this. I think that’s the area where I am too nice with people. I can respect other people’s boundaries but I don’t even respect my own. I don’t know why I suck. But I do know it’s pretty annoying.
I think that one of the reason that I don’t like setting boundaries for myself is because I think that my boundaries will make people that care about not want anything to do with me. I might lose the people that I hold dear or at the very least change that relationship. But I also think I am scared of finding out the truth about these people. Like if they can’t respect my boundaries I will see that they truly don’t are about me or our relationship. Then it will be up to me to decide how I want to move forward in that relationship. Do I want to let them go or do I want to continue to try to make things work? I have a history of giving people chance after chance. The only thing that happens as a result of this is I get hurt again and then I feel as if I lose a little respect for myself. So I know that I know I have to set boundaries and stick to them.
I also feel like if I set a boundary and don’t stick to it that the people I set the boundary for will continue to think it is okay for them to continue to treat me the way that they do. Which of course means that they lose respect for me too. So I know I need to learn to stick with my boundaries. I don’t need to even voice what they are to whoever I have the boundaries against. For example if I say if this person disrespects me one more time I am going to cut them off I need to do just that. But I always feel guilty in the end.
But keeping my sanity and self respect is apart of self care. So respecting myself enough to set boundaries and following through with them is important.