When I was younger I often remember anytime I had a problem in school and I told my mom about it she would immediately would take out a notepad and start writing. For years I never understood why she did this. When I was in the 6th grade I remembered having a problem at school. A boy I had, had an issue with in 5th grade had decided to try to start bothering me again. For whatever reason this boy had an issue with me. I had no idea why then and I still have no idea why now. People tried to convince that he liked me but yeah as much torment as he was putting on me I just couldn’t see it. Anyway one day when I was at school and I simply walked by him he saw me and actually turned around to come back and hit me up side my head. I immediately went to my teacher. JUst like my teachers in my elementary school that we transitioned from she tried to make it seem like that that was his way of saying that he liked me. Well I wasn’t believing it then especially after he punched me in my face 5th grade year. That time he had pinched me in my belly and I was fed up with him so I hit him back then he retaliated by slapping me in my face. Even then my mom had her notepad. She wrote everything down we had been dealing with him all year. I was new to the school that year so he had never met before then but for some reason he decided I was going to be his victim. My mom had reported everything to the teacher, assistant principal, and the principal. After some time maybe a month or two before school let out he stopped. I thought it was over. But nope 6th grade year he tried to pick up where he left off. We were on different teams and everything and he still seeked me out. Well when he hit me upside my head I immediately told my mom. To my surprise when she called the principal. This time she bypassed the teachers she told them exactly what happened last year because she had everything written down. I was so glad she did because they were able to handle the situation immediately. I don’t know what they did but he never bothered me again. I was so glad that my mom did that for me. Turns out she documents everything. If she is having an issue with the cable company she documents each step she has taken to rectify the situation so that she is able to tell the next person she spoke to. I decided then that I would do the same.
So when the situation with Princess S came up last week when she informed us about the rumor of her possibly being jumped I immediately whipped out my notepad and with having a smartphone as well I was able to input it in my phone as well. Now I kind of feel silly sharing this because I think everyone knows how to handle a situation with their children and bullies but I figured I would share anyway. Now Princess S’s situation seems to have been handled for the time being I have been checking in with her and she has told me she hasn’t heard anything else but I’m going to continue to check with her and monitor the situation. These are my steps to handling a bullying situation:
1. Remain calm
2. Ask your child to tell you exactly what happened.
3. Have them write it down ( now I didn’t do this with Princess S but since thinking about it I will from now on).
4. Call their first line of defense. (Since Princess S has many teachers and she told me they hadn’t heard the threat I went to the counselor for her grade.) Usually first line is the teacher.
5. Write down the date and time of this interaction. That way when you go to the next person you’ll have it and can tell exactly what happened.
6. If problem persists go to the next line of defense. I usually give the teachers at least two chances to rectify the situation before I move on to the next. Then you move on up from there.
7. Most important thing is to write down each interaction and any new information that your child provides you.
Once with my son had to go to the school board because I didn’t think the schol he attended was giving his situation the attention it deserved but once I went to the school board everyone seemed to fall in line. It’s amazing what can happen when you get the right person on the job. But for this post my main point is to document, document, document. You never knw how being able to recount your steps and not having to think about it on the spot can help your child or even you in any situation. For me it helps because I get extremely nervous when having to deal with confrontation. I tend to babble and stutter when I have the information right infront of me I feel more in control and calmer. I feel by doing this you are giving your child extra protection and are helping each person be more informed about the situation. I know I felt so much better when I found out my mom had that timeline. The principal was impressed by her. Now I use what she did in raising my children. I know she still does it to this day in other situations.
Documenting can help in medical situations as well cause it allows you to be as well informed as your doctor and you will have the information even if you have to switch doctors. Now I am bad with this but I intend to get better because I can’t always rely on my memory.