One thing that I am still working on with my kids is trying to not always fix situations for them. It is so hard to stand back and let them handle things. I am trying to become more of an advisor. Well with my son I can still kind of go into mama bear mode since he is in high school. But for my daughter I really can’t. She is over an hour away and I have to let her handle things on her own. I know I can be an advisor. I was just talking to her recently and she was telling me about a situation that didn’t turn out the way she expected it to. My daughter can be really emotional and in the situation she was explaining she had every right to be. I of course wanted to jump in and tell whoever was involved where to get off. Simply because they hurt my child. She was so hurt. Instead of doing that. I gave her a little pep talk, some sound advice, and cracked some jokes to make her laugh. Then I just listened to her vent her frustrations. Listening to her I knew that she would figure it out and by the end of the conversation I knew she would be okay. I have to remember that in the end of all their troubles my kids will be okay and when they aren’t they will come to their dad and I. That they are strong enough.
With my son I am being more of an advisor as well. He is learning to handle situations on his own. Like asking questions to his teachers. Addressing things before they get worse. He is really good about handling things. But I still want to save him. I want him to learn to better approach people. Cause my child can be misread at times. Because of this I feel the need to protect him. He is a straightforward young man and loves sarcasm. He also likes to joke a lot. So he is learning to be serious at the right times.
As I realize my kids are becoming more and more capable I am glad to be able to kind of be able to fade into the background. I don’t think the mama bear in me will ever be fully retired because they might still need her on occasion. This Mama Bear has to retire because the only way my “cubs” will survive in life is if I let go. They have to learn lessons on their own or they will basically be cubs forever. So as much as I want to rush in and save them I know I can’t. I just hate when my children get hurt and I can’t do anything about it.