When I get nervous I have a pretty bad habit. I tend to explain and over explain everything. I don’t know why but I just have to explain everything. I don’t know when I started it. Maybe it started when I was a child. You know when you got caught doing something you weren’t suppose to do and your parents asked you why you did it. Yeah that was me. But now I explain myself to everyone and I don’t like it.
Let me explain why. This annoys me because sometimes I find myself explaining myself to people who don’t deserve an explanation. People who wouldn’t spit on me if I was on fire and those who could really care less. Then even if they deserve an explanation I feel like I am overcompensating to make them feel I am important or trying to make people understand me. I think it is a sign of weakness to do that. I find my self revealing things about myself that people don’t need to know. I don’t want to open myself up to things like that. Sometimes I give them another weapon to use against me. I’ve even overexplained myself into situations and made situations worse.
So now that is something else I am working on. Realizing that everyone doesn’t deserve an explanation. In fact I don’t reeally owe anyone an explanation as to why I am me or why I do the things that I do. Now if I am asked and choose to give an explanation I think I need to dial back how much I explain.I shouldn’t let people get to me that way. I haven’t yet figured out why people make me feel that. I guess it’s mainly if I am caught off guard. I have to be more protective of myself and stop leaving myself wide open. So I am promising to not overexpalin myself so much. Cause people retain information and will use it when necessary. Especially if they think they can hurt you. So I’m done explaining. Now I will give out information on a need to know basis.