Sometimes The Husband and I will do Q & A sessions when he is at work and I am at home. That’s what we were doing not even twenty minutes ago. One of the questions he asked me was what don’t I like. My response was to be yelled at, disrespected, ignored, or disregarded. He pointed out that I sometimes do exactly these things to other people.
Now I am the first to admit that I’m not perfect. I think that I do my best to treat others that I want to be treated. But I can’t say I am very good at. I try to correct my behavior when people point out to me that I am doing something that they don’t like. I mean I try to work really hard on my self awareness. So I always try to be conscientious of how I treat people. But sometimes it’s hard because I do not always know that I am doing something that I don’t like. Which is why I try to encourage people to tell me what is going on.
If I were to think about The Husband’s comment I would think that he is saying that I sometimes treat him that way. Which puts me into even more action to be aware of my actions because the last thing I want is for him to feel that way. I want for him to know that I do love, respect, and appreciate him. So to know that he feels that way makes me unhappy. I guess this is where communication comes in. Which is why I am glad we have this little sessions when we do because it lets us know what the other is thinking. Now I know that I have some things I need to work on. I learn more about him and I feel he learns more about me. I think it’s because we are calm and not in the middle of a heated argument. Not being that way we are more receptive to each other and can absorb it better. Especially when neither one of us is on the defensive. We aren’t trying to place the blame on each other either. I quite enjoy us being able to listen/read each others thoughts and the ability to be honest. Now that I know how he feels I now am going to take the steps necessary to rectify it and try not to let him have too many moments where he feels like this.
What ways do you and your significant other communicate that allows you to address issues?