Hello my name is Katherine and I am a self sabotager. Do you want to know what that is? Okay let me explain what it is. Self sabotaging is setting boundaries, saying you aren’t going to do something, or going against your own better judgement and doing those things. Promising yourself you will do something different the next time you are in a situation and not doing it. It can be something as little as not changing up a routine that you know doesn’t help you. Not trusting that your decisions benefit you.
I am the worse at this. I will say next time so and so says this to me I am going to stand up for myself. I will say well because this happened last time I won’t repeat whatever action again. What do I do the next time it happens? I do exact same thing I always do. Then when I get the exact same results I get upset. I am then once again left wondering why I am constantly dealing with the same situations over and over again. I will make a decision and then change my mind as soon as I start to see that someone is not happy or if my decision results in someone not being happy I instantly feel remorse.
There is a way to stop sabotaging yourself though. I am working on them myself.
- Trust yourself: If you don’t trust your own decisions you will never see if they work. Don’t be so quick to change your mind.
- Be okay with people being upset with you: I am not the best at this. I am a caring person and I don’t like when people are not happy with me. But sometimes people have to be unhappy when you need to focus on yourself.
- Remember you are the priority: You are the one living your life and no one else. So you have to deal with the results of your decisions.
- Stick to your decisions: Make a decision and stick to it. Don’t change your mind for any reason other than you want to.
- Be Confident in yourself: My confidence is getting better but it’s not always the best. I find that when I am not feeling confident in myself that sometimes I don’t make very good decisions which causes me to do stupid things.
- It’s okay to change: Give yourself permission to change. It’s okay no one is entitled to keep you where you are.
Many people self sabotage out of fear. I think I am one of them. Fear of what could happen is keeping me in the same routine that already isn’t working. But if I keep going that way I won’t know what else lies in my future. So I am going to try to stop standing in my own way.