This past weekend I wore a shirt that I bought some time last year. At the time I purchased the shirt I thought it was so pretty. I felt great when I tried it on. I don’t know what happened between the time I purchased the shirt and it actually came time to wear it within the days of me purchasing it but by then I decided that I look horrible it. I picked out at least 10 things that was wrong with me wearing it. I wasn’t thin enough, my arms were fat, the skirt I was going to wear it with didn’t look right (This was true.), and just anything else I could think of.
So this past weekend when I came across this shirt and realized the tag was still on it. I still had not worn the shirt. So I decided that it was time for me to face my fear of this shirt and just wear it. I had found a cute pair of pants that I could wear them with. I put it on decided that I was going to rock this shirt and love it. Ever since I have been embracing myself more I have just ben challenging myself out of my comfort zone and making sure that I stay positive and not beat myself up. I complimented myself in my head. I found things that I liked. I told myself that I looked great. Instead of finding things that I didn’t like.
The road back to loving me has not been an easy one. I am learning that most of my issues with me is more about what I think others think of me not what I think of me. I accepted that because others think there is something wrong with me that I thought something was wrong with me. But there is nothing wrong with me at all. I just had to learn to accept the changes that my body has been going through. I am not the skinny girl I once was. With accepting and getting to know the new me I am able to take better care of me. I am no longer wallowing in self pity about being bigger than I use to be. I still want to get healthy but I now realize that things won’t change if I keep thinking about what used to be. So for the past few months I have been working on doing things that embrace who I am now. I have stopped not shopping because I am not where I want to be with my body. I realize that it is fun to buy clothes as my body changes to where I am going. Plus I can always donate the things I can no longer fit.
I have been having so much fun discovering new things that I like. I am letting go of my negative thoughts and working harder to figure out what works for my body rather than what doesn’t. I have never really been a fan of shopping but I am beginning to like it even more. Once I set aside my insecurities everything just became easier. I love how accepting myself is transforming me into a better person. I plan to keep going. I am loving the me that I am becoming.