Today is a special day. It is my oldest child birthday. Usually I write posts about how she has changed over the year. But this time I am changing things up. I am going to express my concern about something in particular. Dating. It truly scares me that she will eventually date. Thank goodness she doesn’t appear interested right now. I mean she has boys she likes but nothing to serious. She’s a great child. She has good grades in school and she is pretty responsible. She is actually not the main person I am worried about. Honestly I hope that she continues to not be interested in dating for a while.
I know. I know. You are going to probably say that is wishful thinking. Trust me I know that. She is getting older and there will eventually be a boyfriend. Here is why I want her to wait to date:
- Education: I really think that she should wait until she finishes school. School is tough enough as it is. I don’t think she needs to worry about juggling it and a relationship.
- Maturity: I want her to mature more emotionally. Right now she is this sweet young girl who wants to make everyone happy. I don’t want her to think that she has to always do what people want to make them happy. I want her to know that she is important in a relationship as well. I think maturing and knowing who you are before dating is important.
- Dangers: I want her to understand the dangers of dating. Her date may try to take advantage of her. That could be anything trying to force her to have sex, do drugs, or drink. I mean there are some real dangers.
- Jealous girlfriends or exes: This is the thing I am really afraid of in light of recent developments I have seen on the news. I think some young girls are way to serious about their boyfriends lately. Some are jealous to the point that they will actually fight over this boy. This is so scary to me. My daughter actually was threatened by a young lady a few months ago because Nishe’ and her friend were talking to her ex-boyfriend who they were friends with. This young lady had been told by this friend that he no longer wanted to date her but she kept holding on. I of course reported it to the school. I don’t play that with my kids. One thing that won’t happen is anybody threatening or putting their hands on my children. Nope Katherine don’t play that.
My thoughts are coming from a story I saw on the news last week. A 15 year old girl was just killed last week over a boy in Delaware. She was jumped in the bathroom by a group of girls and died from hitting her head on the sink. At the time this young lady was the same age as my daughter. It immediately had me worried for her. Cause this was not the first time I’ve heard a story like this. I know there will be more. I’ve already told my daughter that no boy is worth her life. This means in death or in prison. I just think that at this age everyone should be having fun. Now I may be the pot calling the kettle black because I dated at her age. Heck I got married at 18. However for me dating was not like it is now. I actually don’t remember there being too many fights over guys. Maybe I wasn’t paying attention. I do know if there were any they weren’t out to kill you. Well again not that I know of. I guess I am more aware not only because of technology but because I am a parent now. When you are a kid you don’t really pay attention to things like that. I know that when she is ready to date her dad and I will sit down and have another talk with her. We want her to know what she needs to be aware of and how to handle certain situations. With what is going on in the world today I urge you to talk to your daughters and sons. Let them know that dating doesn’t have to be taken that seriously. We have given my daughter some guidelines but I still worry.
How do you handle dating or how will you handle dating with your kids?