This weekend was a bit of an emotional one. I actually had a five day weekend. It was a long one because we had to say good bye to my mother-in-law and we had to take the kids back to school. Friday we had the private viewing. Then Monday was the funeral. I am still dealing with my emotions about her being gone. I just miss her so much. I am just realizing that she was a huge part of my life. On top of that I have never had anyone this close to me pass away. Like someone who I spent time with more than just a few times a year. We had our differences but at the end we had some really great memories. I struggled with dealing with my own emotions about her death and being there for The Husband. I wanted to be there for him without my own emotions getting in the way but it was so hard. At many points I felt horribly selfish. I kind of tried to push them to the side but it just didn’t work. So I just tried to balance the two. I appreciate him so much because even though it was suppose to be focusing on himself he did allow me to express my feelings at the same time. So I really appreciated him for that. The funeral was beautiful. My sister-in-law did an amazing job.
Losing my mother-in-law has renewed my want for family. Me wanting to be closer to my family members while they are still here. I have certain relationships that I would love to improve. Usually I try for awhile and then I will fall off after awhile. So I guess I need to not give up so easily. I don’t want my last time seeing people I care about to be as they are laying in a coffin. I am over seeing family members at a funeral. Funerals shouldn’t be the only place where you hangout with each other. Of course with COVID we have to be careful but that doesn’t stop us from checking in on each other. Even with my own kids I rarely text so I know I can improve on that as well. I just don’t want let too much time pass. As much as I want people to reach out to me I can reach out to them. So I am going to start doing that.
This weekend was also the weekend we took the kids back to their colleges. We took Tyler on Saturday. His college is about forty-five minutes away. We took him and helped him take his things upstairs. It was nice riding down in the car. We just talked and enjoyed each other. Listening to my son go over his political interests and other topics just shows how much he has matured. He even voted for the first time last week. I am super proud of him. He was so excited to do it. He said he was ready to get back to school and learn again .I suspect he was also kind of ready to be back in his own space and have a little more independence but I could be wrong. Either way I am excited for him to get back to learning and working on his goals. We took Nishe back on Sunday. She is about an hour and a half from us. We once again made good conversation. She has grown a great deal too. I was excited for her to get back because she is starting her first job at her college where she will be tutoring kids at an elementary school. I am excited for her to get this experience. I think she will definitely like it more than working fast food which she absolutely hated. I understand where she is coming from I didn’t like it much either.
This weekend we also celebrated The Husband’s birthday. Since on the actual day we would be taking Tyler to school and I wanted us all to celebrate together we did it on Friday. We had a family breakfast and then we took the kids to get supplies for school. He really seemed to enjoy it. Although it would be the first birthday without his mother physically being here. We tried to keep his spirits up. On the actual day taking Tyler back to school was a welcomed distraction. We did talk about her. We will always talk about her. We all have some great memories of her. But I think he made it through the day okay. But other than that the weekend was pretty good.
Now The Husband and I are adjusting to being alone again. Which is easier than it was the first time. I’ll miss us all splitting up chores. I will always miss my kids while they are gone. The cats know they are gone. They have made it their business to wake us up in the morning when it’s time for them to eat. I will hear them scratching at the door and Oreo will meow. Then I open the door and all three are sitting there staring at me. We are okay. I think we have figured out some things that work for us to make the transition a little easier this time. Before we pretty much had nothing figured out and we had to work on splitting up all the chores and figuring out how to communicate. So now we just have to bring those skills into action. So I am feeling good about this time around. It is really a weird feeling to going to a house full of people to just two for me. For the past few days now I have had to remind myself that it’s just the two of us. Especially when the cats manage to open our door. I will probably be used to it within the week. So how was your weekend?