I sometimes find myself asking this question of myself. Sure I am paying the bills but what about my outside interests. Am I putting enough into those things? I find myself constantly putting things on hold for myself. Cause when it comes time to do those things I always find some reason not to do them. I have plenty of excuses believe me. This bill needs to be paid or this money can be used else where.
I don’t know what is preventing me from taking the leap and investing in myself. I guess I am afraid of failing. But at the same time I want more out of my life than I have right now. I want the option to do whatever I want to and not having to weigh whether it’s a good idea to do so because of financial reasons. But at the same time I don’t want to fail. I know that if I keep fearing failure I will remain where I am. So now I have to decide if I am going to let fear continue to run my life or go for what I want. I notice that whenever I am feeling indecisive, have anxiety, or fear something I do everything possible not to focus on that one thing. But when I focus on doing things for others I am okay with doing that. Because it’s easier for me to take care of others rather than take care of myself. It is just the easiest thing to do for me. I have a bunch of things that I have started and stopped because of my inability to focus on the things that are important to me. I almost lost my site a while back because I kept pushing back the payment for it. I remember talking to my mom about it and she was like why are you working if you get nothing out of it.
I really couldn’t answer that question. But it did make me want to do better in making sure I got something out of the money I work so hard for. I deserve to benefit from the income that I bring in as well. So I am going to work on making sure that I get something out of all my hard work. I am going to stop putting everything on hold unless it’s absolutely necessary. Because if I keep waiting on things I will never do anything I want to do.