As I become more vocal with addressing things that bother me and addressing things that happened in my past I am beginning to realize that sometimes that my truth makes people uncomfortable. It’s not that they don’t want to hear it or don’t care about it. It’s more that they don’t really understand and don’t know exactly how to react to it. Especially when my truth is telling them that they are part of the reason I am the way that I am. Then it becomes that they have to deal with how they feel about the situation and my feelings. When you are uncomfortable the first thing you want to do is defend yourself. I know cause I have done it. Every thought of hearing the person out just goes out the window. Then it usually turns into an argument. It’s okay for others to be uncomfortable cause if you’re like me I’m uncomfortable with sharing my truth.
As a parent and a spouse I have realized that I have played a major part in how my kids and husband are. They in turn have done the same for me. The Husband and I have come to terms with a ton of truths in the past few months. The number one thing was neither one of us were really treating each other the best. When he told me how he felt it did not make me feel the greatest. It was the same for him. But let’s be real who wants to hear they hurt someone. We also realized that sometimes we would be in the same situation but experience things in totally different ways. What we had to learn to do is deal with being uncomfortable and realize that it’s okay to feel that way.
What I’ve learned since starting therapy is sometimes you have to be uncomfortable to get comfortable. I have recounted some things that I would rather forget about and some things that I thought I had moved past. This week I was talking to the husband about something and realized that bringing it up still made him feel uncomfortable. The thing I was bringing up was answering a question that I had been asked by my therapist. I kind of wanted to give him a heads up of what I was going to say and help him understand that I was addressing something that had to do with me and not him. But because it was an uncomfortable situation it didn’t go well. But after I thought about it I had to realize I had to respect the fact that he was uncomfortable with what I brought up and that he may never be. It’s something we have withered diligently to move passed but I was still lingering for me and showing up in my life but I am working on improving from. Talking about it with my therapist made me realize that I had my part in the situation too. I’m still trying to protect myself from it and it is making my present difficult. So it’s all basically me trying to let go of the past and trust our new relationship.
When facing your truth and sharing it with people you have to realize everyone is not always going to be comfortable with it. You will have to learn to respect that along with the fact that you may not get what you want out of the situation. You can tell someone your truth and they may not own up to it or apologize for it like you think they should. Just realize that it may be more of the fact that they don’t understand and maybe just can’t bring themselves to even admit that they hurt you. It may just be something they need since time to think on. It’s really okay that they don’t feel comfortable in that moment.