5 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Offering Parenting Advice

La La Land Mommy: 5 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Offering Parenting Advice

When I had my first child I was 19 years old. I had just celebrated my birthday weeks before and The Husband and I had celebrated our first wedding anniversary. While I had babysat children when I was younger I still felt as if I knew next to nothing about having a child. I knew one thing though I was going to do the best that I can. One thing I was unprepared for when I had my baby was all the advice I got. Some was very helpful and some wasn’t however the one thing that most of the advice had in common was the fact that much of it I didn’t ask for. I knew I was a new mom but I had no problem with learning on my own or even asking for help when necessary. Sometimes I felt like well meaning people didn’t know how just giving advice can make a person doubt their skills as a parent. There were times that I would come home and cry because felt awful because I didn’t think I was good enough.  Over time I have learned to say thank you and use the advice that I find useful. I’ve also learned that the unwanted parenting advice isn’t going to stop because my kids are teenagers now and I still get advice. I’ve seen a number of post on Facebook where people are asking whether or not they should say something to a friend or family member about something about parenting. One thing that I have learned is that I don’t want to make people feel the way that I felt when I was given advice. So when I am in a position to give advice about parenting I ask myself 5 questions:

-How well do I know the person?

-How is the person’s home life?

-Is the advice important to save the child’s life?

-Is this person able to receive advice well?

-Are you ready for the person’s reaction?

My biggest advice is to make sure you are coming from a good place when you are giving advice and approach people with respect. It may even help more if you ask the person if you can give them the advice first. This approach helped me a few weeks ago when I told this young lady the importance of having her baby’s car seat handle all the way up in the proper position. Looked like the baby was going to slide right out he was so little. He was strapped in though. That gives them time to prepare for it before you give it to them. You want the person to feel comfortable and not like they are being attacked and uncomfortable. I hope this helps anyone who has the dilemma about approaching someone or not with advice.