La La Land Mommy: 6 Traits I Don’t Want My Kids To Get From Me
When I was pregnant with both my kids I was just like any other pregnant woman I wondered about the little person who was inside me. I wondered who they were going to look like, were they going to have hair or not, what kind of personality they were going to have, and a list of other things. I had things I wanted for them. I wanted them to be smart, happy, and just great kids. Now that they are here and I have the pleasure of seeing them grow right before my eyes I am happy to say that I have all that and more. They are truly wonderful kids. I love seeing them come into their own each and every day. I see how they are like The Husband and I in so many ways.
While I love to see my personality in them there are some of my personality traits that I don’t want them to have. I just think that without these traits they can avoid learning some of the lessons that I had to learn. I wish they could avoid learning any lessons where they have to be hurt in order to learn the lesson. Here are six traits that I don’t want my kids to get from me.
- People pleasing: It took me years to learn that putting other’s happiness before mine was not the way to live life. Most times you have to make yourself happy before you can make anyone else happy.
- Low Self-esteem: I want my kids to love who they are. I don’t want them to let what others think of them to bring them down. I want them to be confident enough to own who they are no matter what. I still struggle with this as an adult. Now I am getting to the point where I just don’t care.
- Self-doubt: I want my kids to never regret their decisions. I want them to be comfortable with every decision that they make. Self-doubt prevents you from living life. I wish I could go back and do some of the things that I wanted to do instead of letting fear and doubt make my decision for me.
- Procrastination: Okay now I know you have seen a couple of posts about this on my blog. I want my kids to never and I do mean never pick up this habit. I want them to know that the saying “Time is money ” is so true. It isn’t just money either. You miss a lot of opportunities putting things on the back burner all the time.
- Overthinking: I swear I wish I had never picked up this trait. It has made me miss so many opportunities. I want to know that everything does not need to be a long thought process. Sometimes if it feels right you should go with it and if it feels wrong then you shouldn’t is all the information that you need. If you constantly overthink that is how you miss life changing opportunities.
- Complacent: I want them to never become complacent. Being too comfortable where you are can stunt growth. I want them to experience life. Life is about enjoying it and creating new experiences. Not to say you can’t ever be comfortable but you have to be open to new experiences. When you become to complacent life just kind of pass you by.
These are just a few of the traits that I don’t want them to have. I have more but it will make this post way too long. I am seeing some of them but I try my best to guide them through it. I want them to be great people but even more great to themselves. I actually prefer that they experience these things as teenagers so that they can become even better and stronger adults. Dealing with these things as adults is just rough. Do you have a trait that you don’t want your kids to have?
Procrastination is definitely something I hope they don’t pick up but I think it might be too late for that!
Yeah me too. I’m trying my best to break my own habit. It is so hard.
I full agree with the self doubt and the over thinking. I pray everyday my daughter has the strength of character to know exactly what she wants and to go for it. I am already seeing the little people pleaser in her and it made me shutter a little bit. I also don’t want her to pick up on my mouth because that is not always good 🙂
Yeah I am constantly doubting myself. I see the people pleaser in my kids too. I can’t stand it. I try to let them know that they have to please themselves first. It is so hard to be the example.
This is a great list to live by. I think your traits are understandable and can relate in not wanting your kids to end up with them. The list I’d have of my own traits would be a lot longer.
Oh trust me I have more. Those are just at the top of my list.
I love this article. Self-awareness is a wonderful thing, especially when you can use it to recognize the things you don’t want to pass down.
Thanks. I am trying my best to help them recognize they don’t have to do these things. But they may have to learn the hard way.
I was more worried about my kiddo getting my eye (I have terrible vision), but everything that you talk about here are something I don’t want my kids to get from me also.
Yeah I worried about that too. We struck out. All four of us wear glasses.
I think that as parents we all have traits that we hope our children won’t inherit. I agree that at times you need to put yourself above others.
This post is such an eye opener! I read somewhere that the reason you dislike a person is because you see your traits in them (similar to a magnet where like poles repel). I don’t want my children to be people pleasers. I guess I picked up that habit when I lived most of my life in the corporate world.
Yeah I hate that I always want to make people happy. Sometimes at the expense of myself.
I have to agree with these. I have plenty of traits I’d hope my kids can work through better than I could. I’m a procrastinator for sure.
I am the master procrastinator. My kids aren’t far behind me.
Pretty sure you and I have the same traits. And I’m pretty sure I’d feel the exact same way about not wanting to pass those down to my children too. <3
It’s interesting to see how many share these traits. It sometimes feels like I’m by myself. Thanks for stopping by.
This is a great list and I agree with you on all these. Number 2 is very important. You have to teach them to love who they are.
Definitely. That one maybe should have been number one cause I think if self-esteem is low then it can lead to the others.
I think we all have some valid worry when it comes to our kids. I like that you mentioned procrastination because this is a horrible habit that I have too!
Yes! My procrastination is the worse.
These are great ways to teach your kids from experience. I think most of those things on the list are pretty common with moms too. We really are people pleasers by nature I think!
I hate when my people pleasing overrides the things that I want because I am so darn nice.
Oh gosh, I think I have all of these traits as well. I am definitely a people pleaser and a procrastinator. I always said I would never be like my parents who were late everywhere they went and guess what? I have been late a lot lately. Maybe inheriting traits is something that just comes naturally??
I see my kids picking up many my bad habits already. It’s crazy when you see yourself in them. I’m hoping they grow out of it.
I do have some traits I don’t wnat the kids to have. It’s okay though, they’ll work through whatever and stay strong. I have faith in them. 🙂
Yes me too. I just don’t want them to affect their lives like they affect mine. I hope they recognize them and change them.
I hate that i am a Procrastinator. i hope my kids do not inherit this trait.
That is the biggest one I don’t want my kids to get. My procrastination is my biggest pet peeve about myself.
I have a list of traits I hope my kids don’t get from me, but my main one is my anger. I don’t boil over often, but when I do, watch out! And I am a procrastinator. Lol.
Oh goodness! I’m the same way. I hold a lot of stuff in and then when I blow I blow. I want them to express themselves and not be afraid to say what is on their mind.
I can relate well with the traits that you mentioned here. I hope so too that in the future, kids won’t get those traits.
I guess all we can do is watch them grow and guide them through it. ????
I don’t want many of my traits to go to them. One is self doubt like you mentioned. They are so confident right now I want them to keep that.
Yes I want my kids to be confident as well. I don’t want them to worry about what other people think.
Its always good to recognize the good and the bad in yourself. I think just being aware of your short comings is the first step to ensuring they don’t pick them up.
That is so very true and then put the work in to change them.
My trait would be — being anxious. I hate anxiety and I hate that I have it. I hope they don’t suffer from that.
Yeah I can understand that. I have family members who have that and they hate it.
Ahhhhh I really hope my daughter doesn’t pick up people pleasing from me too!!! Horrible and tiering trait
It really is. I’ve been trying to break myself of that habit for years.
I have all of those same traits, and when I have kids I realllllllllllllly hope they aren’t over thinkers or have any self doubt. My procrastination has gotten better but I have my moments… or days/weeks haha.
Ha ha ha! Yeah self doubt and procrastination are my worse ones. I hate them. I’m working on getting over both though.