I am not a good decision maker. It takes me forever to make the simplest decisions. Even with food most times. Don’t ask me where I want to eat because unless I definitely have a place in mind I will take forever. Especially if it’s for anyone besides me. So like if I want to eat somewhere other than where the family wants to eat I will just eat where they want to eat rather than suggest where I really want to eat. I don’t want people to not like my choice so I make sure that my choice is what everyone wants I seek their approval.
Even when I don’t think I am seeking approval I am. The other day I was sick with a cold. So I was trying to decided whether or not I wanted to ride my bike to the store to get medicine or wait. So The Husband text me asking what I was doing and I was like debating on whether or not I was going to the store. I realized that in that moment I was waiting to see if he thought it was a good idea that I go to the store or not. So I decided in that moment that enough was enough. I told him I was going to go ahead and go to the store. I have a friend who points out to me whenever it sounds like I am seeking her approval on an idea that I have. She will just say “Girl! Do you. Stop waiting to see if I approve.” In that moment I will realize that I am actually waiting for her to acknowledge my idea.
I have been wondering for the longest why do I seek the approval of others. I realized that it is because I don’t trust myself. I always doubt myself. So I think that I lean on others to help me out. But going with the ideas of others doesn’t satisfy me it just lets me avoid making decisions on my own. Then when it winds down to it I am still in the same place that I started. I need to get comfortable with my own decisions and stop doubting myself. The only way I can fail at anything is if I don’t try. So I am going to trust myself a little more and go out on a limb and try my own ideas. I have to trust that my ideas are good ones. As long as I approve of my ideas nothing else should matter.
I can so relate to this! I do the same thing but I am learning that I can trust my gut and that I do know how to make good decisions.
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Nothing matters but what you think. I had to learn that the hard way and once you start learning that the sky is the limit because you no longer care about what others have to say.
Yes this is so true. I’m mad it took me so long to do this.
Well I love the fact how you can at least be honest with yourself. Recognize and you acknowledged that you don’t trust yourself (is one of your biggest problems).
Yep definitely one of my biggest ones. I’m getting better though.
I think it’s great that you have friends and a support system that is allowing you to move beyond your need for approval and take action! Way to go!
They are encouraging me to make my own decisions. I need to trust myself more.
I think at some point we do look for others people approval. its our own approval that matters the absolute most!
I have moments when I am indecisive. It usually involves making a food selection. Otherwise I am pretty solid on what I want and what and how I should do things.
I’ve been there. Bottom line is, approve yourself first.
This is such a relatable story. I think so many of us (myself included) make decisions then spend twice as long second guessing them. Try to tell myself to decide, then act! Just trust yourself.
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Thank you for being so vulnerable in this post. For me delayed decisions are often the result of not really thinking them through. Making a good decision has a lot more to do with just trusting yourself. I have to organize my thoughts first. Mostly it’s thinking about how that decision might affect someone else or myself. What will happen if I don’t make this decision? What will happen if I do? Will I be ignoring any principles with whatever decision I make? That sort of thing. The more I think of the pros and cons, the easier it becomes to pull the trigger.
This is so me. The more I break it down the harder it is for me to make a decision.
I think a lot of people deal with this at one point or another. You have to trust yourself and that you will make a good choice.
Thanks. I am trying my best to get better at it.
We all have these moments about different things.
Kudos to you for realizing what the issue is and taking steps to correct it.
I think we all do this from time to time. I have a tendency to seek my mom’s approval a lot. Then when she doesn’t agree, I do what I want anyway or try to convince her. To her point, it defeats the point of asking.
I have done that too. It’s really hard for me to just go with what I think is right. I’m getting better though.