Boys Are Interested in My Daughter & I’m Not Ready
It was just a few months ago I was posting about an episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta episode to where Cynthia was dealing with her daughter and dating. My time is slowly coming. Boys have always been interested in Nishe’ but now they are to the point where they are expressing their interest in dating her. This year so far there was one little boy in school who has asked her out but I didn’t really see that as anything cause from what my daughter told me this young man basically talked to her off and on and then by the end of the school year they had stopped talking. Then yesterday she told me that a young man that she has been texting with for awhile asked her to be his girlfriend. Her and this young man have known each other since the 7th grade and he recently moved but they still stay in contact. This relationship I’m not too worried about either because they don’t see each other they just chat but it still makes me realize that she is growing up and pretty soon these young men are going to actually want to take her out. I was speaking with my good friend the other day, she’s muslim and she said her daughter had become interested in love and wanting to learn more about muslim marriage and what it could mean for her. She said how scary it was to be having the conversation with her little girl for the first time, as our kids start to grow up and realize how the world works and what they think they might be interested in… I mean it’s scary! I won’t lie. You want to protect them from mean boys and heartbreak and all the bad things about love, but then again, accept that this is the only way for lessons to be learned. Ahh, being a mom sucks sometimes! Anyway, so for my daughter, and perhaps a bit for myself, I came up with some rules.
We have given her the guidelines of the steps that she has to go through to “officially” date:
1. She has to be 16.
2. She has to be making good grades.
3. She has to be taking care of her responsibilities at home.
4. We have to meet the gentleman.
5. We have to meet the young man’s parents.
When she told me about this young man. I asked her about this young man. I reminded her of those guidelines. I do realize that we can’t keep her locked in a box. So I told her that maybe The Husband and I would allow them to meet up and hang out supervised. I have to realize she is growing up and she will be interacting with boys. I’m well aware that there will come a time when she won’t be asking me if she can go out with boys. Instead, she will be buying fragrances from somewhere like True Pheromones so she can have her pick of the bunch, and I can’t say anything, because I pretty much did the same thing when I met The Husband. This time will come, but it just feels too early. I went on to ask her how she feels about this young man. She said she likes him but she isn’t seeing it as anything serious. In my head, I screamed Hallelujah! She is happy just being a kid and this boyfriend/girlfriend is just a title to her right now. I am so relieved. The Husband and I are going to keep the dialogue open with her. The most important thing for us is to let her know we support her and that she come talk to us.
I think my main reason for not being ready for my baby girl to date is that I have to accept that she is not going to be my little girl in the growing up sense of the world. However, she will always be my baby. I’m not ready to see her get her heart broken, deal with the many types of boys, and most importantly the pressure of sex. Sex is everywhere nowadays, from the likes of a london escort offering her company to lonely men, to sexual themed adverts for fragrances and deodorants. Sex is no longer a “wait until marriage” issue, it’s a natural part of relationships now. I’m saying we should avoid it completely, I just think that, at her age, it does more bad than good. And with everything going on at the moment regarding coronavirus, it’s definitely not safe for her to be having sexual relations with anyone. Even when it starts to pass and lockdown restrictions are lifted, there should still be no spit-swapping this year 2020. That means no kissing until the virus is eliminated!! I just want my baby to remain innocent and unscathed. Ugh! Where is the pause button for this growing up thing.
Are your kids in the dating stage? How are you handling it? How are they handling it? What rules did/do you have in place?
