Conversations With My Kids: Teachable Moments

Yesterday as always I was having a conversation with my kids. Okay to be honest at first I was fussing because they had gone downstairs Sunday to play with their toys and had not cleaned them up. I had waited to see just how long my little angels would leave their toys on the floor before I had to say something to them. Now I had said something to them on Monday morning and yesterday was Wednesday. So we were on day four of them leaving their toys down there. So I was ranting and raving about how they should be more responsible about cleaning up after themselves. I told them that I didn’t want them to think that I was being mean but I wanted to encourage them to do it and that if they did it on their own that they wouldn’t have to hear me fuss. When I brought up being mean Private J said like Princess S’s teacher Ms. T. When he said that I asked him what he meant by that and he reminded me of how Princess S constantly complains about how Ms. T always yells at her and her classmates even the ones as she put it who weren’t doing anything.

This is a conversation we have every school year about the teachers. They get so angry when their teachers yell at the entire class for doing something wrong when it isn’t everyone misbehaving. Every year I try to explain to them what teachers go through and why they react the way they do. I tried to get them to imagine what their teachers are going through when multiple teacher in the class are acting up and imagine how they would react if that happened to them. I told them that once a few kids start to misbehave that teachers find it much more simple to address the whole class instead of addressing one person at a time or letting the other children in the classroom know that the behavior they are seeing isn’t okay. Immediately Princess S said she would handle it differently. She said that she would call the parents of the children that were misbehaving and then she would send them to the principles office and tell them that they can’t come back until they decided to behave properly. I told her that it isn’t that simple. I also gave her the example as to how sometimes I chastise both her and Private J for something even though it was only one of them who did an offense or I couldn’t figure out who it was. After talking a bit more I think I got them to understand why their teachers do what they do.

I also told that Private J that just because his sister feels a certain way about a teacher that he shouldn’t assume that thought himself. I said that he should meet Ms. T himself and form his own opinion. I know that because he has had teachers like this before but he shouldn’t let her view taint his own. I know he feels sad for his sister when he hears her experience but at the same time he has to look at it objectively  and listen to her story.

Then we transitioned into why it is important to be careful who you hang out with and how even when you’re older. I gave them examples of why they could get in trouble with a group of people even though they aren’t doing anything wrong. I was really surprised at how many examples I came up with like cops finding drugs in the car of a friend and there was an episode of First 48 I remembered where all a young man did was pick up his two friends but became an accessory to murder because he didn’t turn them in after they told him they had killed someone. I think the first 48 story stuck with them more because this young man had a clean record and was on his way to college with a football scholarship until he made his decision to help these two guys.

I’m hoping these two conversations help them to better understand their teachers and what they are going through on a day to day basis. I also hope that it helps them make better decisions. I just want them to understand what it is like for their teachers and also how some of their decisions could change their lives.