La La Land Mommy: Why Are Dads Ignored
I don’t know if it’s just me but I noticed that often times when The Husband and I go to places such as the doctor’s office or go to the school they seem to talk to me way more than they speak to him. I was talking to him about it the other day and he said that he has gotten used to it. He said he figures that things are that way because they are used to dealing with moms. I on the other hand feel that if both parents are clearly present then both should be acknowledged. I don’t know maybe I’m overreacting. It just irritates me when I know he is standing there and they are acting like I’m the only one there. If they just asked him they would find out that he knows as much as I do.
Here’s an example of what I’m talking about. A couple of weeks ago we took our son to the dentist and when his visit was over the nurse went to write is doctor’s excuse for school and then she goes so “Mom is he going back to school? it’s your choice” I turned and asked my husband what he thought. He didn’t even notice it until after I pointed it out to him.
I’ve actually come up with a few ways to get them to acknowledge him. I’ll ask him or I’ll tell them that The Husband can answer. All I’m saying is. You constantly here about dads not being there for their children but when they are they are basically ignored. I actually wonder if it is the reverse for stay at home dads when the moms are the ones working outside of the home. When he gets ignored I feel bad for him even though he seems to be okay. Well he used to have a problem with it but not so much anymore. Okay rant over.
How do you feel about situations such as this? How do you correct them?
I remember this problem being addresses in an Ebony magazine once. I think the way you are handling it is good so far, or having him ask more questions in process as well will get them to see he is an equal contributor to the decisions.
Yes we definitely do that.
Hubs rarely goes with me to appointments, so I haven’t had that problem. I do like your way of redirecting, though.
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Thanks. I just think since both parents are involved then both parents should be acknowledged.
I solved the problem by just sending him to the appointments! LOL now his dr’s and teachers know both of us!
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Yep sometimes he takes them in.
Parenting really is a partnership, so I cannot imagine a doctor or teacher always assuming that the mother is the main decision maker when both parents are present. Dads are important, too! I’m glad that you actively work to overcome this whenever it happens–change is definitely needed! 🙂
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Yes all dads should be acknowledged.
This is a very interesting observation! One that now you’ve mentioned it I notice a lot!
Yes it is very irritating and sad.
That would be annoying. My hubby doesn’t come to a lot of things, but I make sure to converse with him while at the doctor or whatever, when they are talking to me. When he does come, they are usually talking to him, too, but I’m going to pay attention.
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