La La Land Mommy: I Forgot How To Flirt With My Husband
When my husband and I were dating flirting came very easy to me. I didn’t even have to think I would say flirtatious things all the time. We worked together but we weren’t on a date or anything. So let us just say I didn’t spend every moment with him. However, we did spend some time together for some crucial planning work. I’m talking about our wedding! Planning our wedding is something that I won’t ever forget. I remember it being so much fun! Be it checking the venue for the first time (it looked just like this Wedding Venue in Fort Worth, TX!), going for cake tasting, or deciding on the DJ, the decisions were all made together. So of course we had nothing but sweet things to say to each other.
All that changed once we had kids. Our first child came three days after our first wedding anniversary. After that our world became all about her. But even then every so often we would flirt with each other. A kind word here, a sexy comment there, and a loving touch every so often. Then twenty months later our second child came along. Our world became even more about them and just life in general paying bills, keeping us clothed, making sure we were healthy, and so on. Pretty soon a flirtatious remark became “I managed to take a shower today” or “I cleaned the house”. Nothing beyond that. Oh and the infamous “The kids are in bed”. I have made an effort to flirt with him but most times my attempts go right over his head. You can expect that when your best line is “Hey sexy”. Plus, when I attempt it I find myself cracking up at myself. I just want to get back to it. I just think that it is important that he still feels as if I still appreciate and love him. He deserves to feel recognised and that I have forgotten about him. You can tend to do that.
When I think about when things changed I would have to say that in the first few years of our marriage I was pretty confident and loved the way I looked. As I got older and gained more weight things began to change and my way of hiding was to put my attention on my husband and kids. Excuses for not putting much effort into my looks or myself period became plentiful. Basically I think that when my view of myself changed my confidence took a hit as well therefore making my ability to make him feel wanted and appreciated suck. I know life sometimes gets in the way but that isn’t the only excuse. I guess as you are married longer and longer sometimes you just expect your significant other to just know how you feel. I think it is fun to remind them though. I think that as my confidence level goes up that I will get better at. I am learning that in order to make others feel good you have to feel good about yourself. Pamper yourself, get yourself some flowers (local flower shops like the ones near Flowers Frankston Hospital tend to deliver the freshest ones) accompanied by some chocolates. Exercise if that makes you feel good. Know one thing, everything is connected to you.
Do you and your significant other still flirt?
So true, Katherine: “He deserves to feel recognized”: When we remember that, our relationships go oh-so-much better!
Yes! No one should feel like they are doing all the work.
Flirting! hahaha 🙂 YES! through calls, chats and text—we still do after years being married. I think it would just come natural and though kids are there, we show them that we love flirts as a couple and their parents in spite of challenges and fights 🙂
That is amazing. I think it is something I definitely need to work on.
I agree!! Kids, life and work puts a lot of stress on a relationship. Learning to keep yourself help will make others happy!! Date nights are also great escapes from life and allows you a little bit a flirting time!
We definitely need to do more date nights.
You should always feel confident love! You have 2 beautiful kids that you made & a hubby that loves you. I struggled with the weight I gained until my doctor looked at me and said “it’s ok you don’t weigh 110 pounds, your 31, your not in your twenties or teens”. You’ll gain your confidence back, comment on yourself to yourself everyday. It’ll come.
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Yeah confidence is one of the things I’m working on.
I wish I could say that my husband and I have a very flirtatious relationship, but just like you said after you have a few kids things kind of become monotinous. We have to put in some real work to maintain a connection, that includes dates, making time for each other and the occasional sleepover at grandma’s house for the kids.
It can be so hard at times but I know it’s possible.
We definitely still flirt! Maybe not as much as I’d like, but at least once a day 🙂 We have been married for 15 years this year, but we are still pretty young (35 & 40). I don’t ever see a day when we don’t flirt. It is SO important!
I think I need to try harder. It is something that I’m working on. It’s been 16 years for us.
Nice article! I can see how flirting can go to the wayside when kids are involved. I am not married with kids yet so we haven’t reached that point yet.
Yeah it can be difficult but I’m determined to put more effort into it.
I still try to flirt with my hubby. I will send him a naughty sext message and oftentimes he doesn’t know how to reply so I get LOL or nothing at all. He always says that he doesn’t know what to say. I told him to say what he would say before we before parents!
Ha ha ha! My husband is pretty good at it. I’m like your husband.