December made it official that I have two adult children in my home now. Tyler turned 18. I have come to realize that parenting young adults is not easy. In fact it is a whole different beast. Cause they have in their head what they should be allowed to do since they are 18 now and we have to come up with a whole new set of rules.
You would think I would be prepared for this change since I already went through it with Nishe’. But there really is a difference. Nishe’ is my oldest so it’s like that baby who made me a mom is leaving the nest. Tyler is my baby. There are no more babies after him. The chapter of my life where I have the first day of school pictures is pretty much over. Not really since I’m sure they know I’ll be doing it when they go to college. But it’s still different. Can you believe that he graduates in May? I definitely can’t. It seems like it was just yesterday that we were getting him ready for his very first day of school. He hated it (if I remember correctly). But after a couple of days, he soon found his feet. He came home every day telling me how much he had learned and the friends that he had made. I was proud of him.
The biggest challenge in his school career was when he started high school. I remember getting him ready for the transition. I told him that we should look at the league tables for secondary school in our area, so we could make an informed choice about where we would send him. But he always knew what he wanted. He knew where he wanted to go, and the results from the league tables just confirmed what we were both thinking. It was a big step and he navigated it so calmly. I think he may be the bravest person I know because I was the complete opposite. Time flew from there. I don’t think I want him to graduate in May but I know that this time must come. I have to close that chapter. I must focus on other things. Because my kids will now no longer need me in the ways they use to. I’m okay with that but it’s also kind of sad to acknowledge.
Tyler has always been my more independent child. He was ready to walk home by himself when he was in first grade. But of course I didn’t let him. He is a bit not adventurous than his sister. Always ready to try new things and face challenges on his own. The only time he ever really told The Husband and I about a problem is if he absolutely couldn’t handle it. He already knows what he wants to do with his life. I can’t wait to see what he does with his life after high school. He talks about his dreams often and I enjoy hearing them. I hope he fulfills them all.
I’m just really trying to mainly adjust to him now having more freedom to just do what he wants. We still have rules and everything but I basically have no day in what he does. I have to trust that he knows what is best for himself. Whatever decisions he makes I have no choice but to watch the outcome. That is scary for me but I know I can do it. He hasn’t done anything too outrageous as of yet.
I know when I turned 18 I was feeling myself and I had to be reeled back in. I wasn’t breaking laws or anything but I kind of had to be reminded I was still living at home. Neither one of my kids have had anything to bad. So I’ll count my blessings. But we have had to remind them of our expectations of them and that those expectations are higher now.
I’m just going to take this one day at a time. I just can’t believe both my babies are grown now. They know though that no matter how old they get they will forever be my babies. It’s a little sad but it has to be done.
