I find myself is it me a great deal. I have been asking this question over the past few weeks because a series of negative things have happened to me in the past few weeks that I just can’t seem to explain. It’s mostly in the way people treat me. I can’t for the life of me figure out why I tend to be treated so differently than other people around me.
Lately I’ve noticed a pattern of people treating me in a disrespectful way. They talk to me rude, they over talk me, they disrespect me, I get blamed for things I didn’t do, and sometimes they even downright just blatantly embarrass me. I look around me and it seems like I’m the only one being treated this way. I feel like I’m being singled out. I’m starting to wonder if I am giving off some kind of vibe that is saying that it’s okay to do this. I notice everyone around me are pretty much respected. I am too but to a certain extent. I find that I’m often the one picked for jokes or to address about something in a certain way. For example I have been used as a scape goat at work. It has been certain times things happened and instead of taking the blame themselves they’ll just say I did. What’s crazy is most times whoever it is will believe them. Then this person will have an attitude with me for no reason until I clear the matter up. So now I’ve learned that I kind of need to assert myself at work more but also set boundaries with the people I work with. I just would love to figure out why I seem to just be the one who is always being disrespected or people seem to have no problem saying exactly what’s on their mind to me.
Most people and my therapist tell me that I’m being treated this way because I don’t set boundaries with people. I do tend to let a number of things slide before I address my problems. I just don’t see the need to call attention to every little thing that bothers me. I don’t want to be perceived as difficult to work with or not a good team player. I also don’t want to be seen as someone who always has an issue.
I feel as because I am mild manner and don’t answer easily people feel as if it’s okay to treat me any kind of way because they feel I won’t say or do anything. First off I’m not a fighter but I will defend myself. Second I don’t like confrontation so I would rather let things go rather than confront someone. It really does take a lot for me to finally say anything to you. It’s not with just certain people it’s with everyone. Plus I really don’t want to make anyone dislike me.
I’m being told by my therapist that not like confrontation and not setting boundaries is one of the reasons people tend to treat me the way that they do. However that doesn’t answer my question as to why they start in the first place. What about me says mess with her, treat her this, and say this to her? I’m just really trying to figure this out. I really wish I knew the answer. I’m working on setting boundaries and confronting people when they hurt me but I would love an answer to that question.
