Dear Parents,
One saying I always remember hearing when I was younger was the phrase “It takes a village to raise a child.” Until I became a parent I didn’t understand what that phrase meant. I just remember being angry at some of my neighbors and friends’ parents for telling on me when they saw me doing something wrong. I also remember my mom and dad helping other parents out and vise versa when they needed. Like I still have fond memories of my dad cutting some of the young boys hair in our neighborhood. My mom became mom and aunt to many. I myself and my brothers adopted a aunt or uncle myself.
Now I feel as if those days are gone. Most times when I’m on social media I feel like parents are either trying to one up each other or bashing each other for the many different styles of parenting. I’ve seen arguments breakout over breastfeeding, vaccinations, and even more recently circumcisions. What happened to respecting each other’s differences? Why do we feel the need to shove our way of doing things down the next person’s throat? Last week I was in a Facebook group and some of the people were literally calling people liars because they said they had their child potty trained by two. My kids were potty trained by two but I don’t expect everyone to make the same decision my husband and I made. Some parents prefer to wait until their child shows interest. We respect that. Now I’m not saying all parents are this way because I’m not. I just think we need to let the judgement go. I say as long as a child is loved, healthy, well cared for, and happy let the family be because obviously what they are doing is working. Why do we care to judge them and what they are doing?
Why can’t we acknowledge another child’s accomplishments without another parent trying to one up them? Seriously. I’ve actually told someone something that my children have done that made me proud only to be met with “Oh well my child did this.” Why is it a competitive? When I’m sharing great news I promise you I’m not trying to say my child is better than yours or anything. I’m just saying I’m proud of them. Last thing on my mind is competition. When someone tells me about an amazing moment in their child’s life I am going to acknowledge it not try to put my child in the spotlight.
I want those days back when we actually embraced each other and helped. The days where we appreciated each other. The days where we didn’t feel like we had to compete or even try to force our kids to be better than another child. I don’t know if those days are accidents or just my perspective as a child. I know at can respect each other and not beat each other down for our different parenting choices. Offer advice without making someone feel small and stupid. Throw out our own time line of when kids should be doing xyz and our own expectations. Let’s face it being parents are already heard enough. Let’s learn from each other. Cause we all know every little bit helps. Let’s get our kids across the goal line of adulthood together and pray that we have taught them enough to become great human beings and realize that any mistakes that they make are theirs and theirs alone. Realize that all we can do is so the best we can. Whose with me?
Katherine
