Learning To Forgive Myself 

  
Last week I found myself looking in my mirror and apologizing to myself. I know that sounds weird but it’s something I felt I had to do. Mainly because I out of anyone am my toughest critic. No one hurts me more than me. I have the hardest time allowing myself to make a mistake or even thinking I can succeed at something I’m trying to do.  <–!more–>

Last week I was having a hard time coming up with a solution to a problem I was having. It tied into something I have been planning to do for a while now. I put my plan into motion and then it stalked for a few weeks cause I had done financial issues I had to work out. I tried my best to come up with a solution and thought that I was going to have to accept defeat and give up on my plans. I was so frustrated and calling myself all sorts of names because some decisions I made had led me to be where I came to be. I was just so disappointed with myself. Then on to of that I had made a commitment to someone who was helping me bring my plan to reality. I would tried to take the blame off me and blame someone else and  would try to convince myself that it didn’t bother me  anymore. In all actuality I wasn’t okay. I didn’t want to fail. 

So I went in the bathroom looked in my mirror and admitted that it was my fault. I told the woman in the mirror that she had made a mistake and that it was time to own up to it. Really there was no one to blame but me. I was the one who made the decisions. I also told her that it was okay to fail and that all she had to do was stop the pity party and come up with a solution for the problem. I had to give myself a pass and remind myself that I can figure out a solution. Basically I had to forgive myself. Cause although I wanted to blame someone I was the one truly at fault. I looked in the mirror and told that woman I forgive you. I told her that what was going on was not the worst thing that could happen to her. After I said it I actually began to feel better and I eventually came up with a solution. 

I am learning that sometimes I have to tell myself “I forgive you”. I have to tell myself it’s okay to screw up as long as long as I learn from it and try not to make the mistake again. If I do I need to know that I can pick myself up and move on after I fix it. 
Why is forgiving ourselves so hard? Was there a time you had to forgive yourself?