I like everyone in the world have expectations. I think the one thing that makes me different than most people are I expect everyone to meet those expectations and am really hurt when people don’t meet them. I form I guess what I think should happen in my head. That’s exactly how I expect it to go. Funny thing is most people don’t even know what my expectations are for. For example. I will meet someone new. In my head I have already formed what my expectations of that meeting should be. I’m like we will be friends and hang out. My friend will call me and we will hang out. Then when it doesn’t happen I get upset and immediately back away or admit failure. Because of course they didn’t do what I expected them to do. I’ll admit my expectations are super high in just about every situation. So high in fact that they are almost guaranteed to not be met. Heck even I can’t meet them. Because my expectations are so high it makes it pretty easy for people to fail. I think my expectations are that way to protect myself. Cause I feel if they don’t meet them I can weed out the people who don’t have my best interest at heart quickly. Right now I am having this struggle on whether I want to reach out to family or not. I am a family person at heart. I grew up with family and I want to have that connection again. I have this expectation that as soon as I reach to a family that there will be an immediate connection and just like that we will be cool and hang out. But I know there is a possibility that, that won’t happen. So I have to deal with all the possibilities that can happen and get past my expectations. Cause in my head I have this perfect ending that may not happen.
La La Land Mommy: My Expectations Are Hindering Me
I am learning that my expectations are my way of protecting myself from being hurt. But they are also hindering me from living my life as well. So my true expectation is really that I expect people to fail me because people have failed me before. Also I expect me to fail them because I have had friendships that have failed. I am very protective of me now since I have been hurt in the past. So I guess I should be willing to meet my own expectations before I expect others to meet them. I am working on lowering my expectations but not too much. But I am also raising the expectations I have for myself. I am okay with expecting to enjoy the moments where I meet new people or reconnect with family. I expect to enjoy life. I expect to be me. I expect to have fun.
I can definitely relate to this!!! My theme word for therapy is expectations. I’ve learned that there’s nothing wrong with having them but it’s my job to make sure they’re realistic and obtainable.
Yes! That’s exactly what I want to do.
Honest post. Expectations are sometimes hard to handle. Too high disappointment too low not enough self trust. Keep striving for that balance
I also have to learn to accept disappointment and move on while not holding it against the next person.
The good part about this is you know what is holding you back so now you can figure out ways to fix it so that you no longer feel like your expectations are keeping you back.
This is true. I am figuring out a plan now. I want to learn to let people in.
You have to be kind and gentle to yourself, and learn to set reasonable expectations for the future.
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That’s exactly what I plan on doing.
It’s so true that sometimes our expectations can be the thing that’s holding us back. We need to let go and accept what is and allow what will be.
I plan to do that more. I am hoping it will benefit me in the long run.
This is an honest come to Jesus with yourself moment. Beautiful place to be.
I love being in this place where I am able to recognize my weaknesses but also in a place to work on them.
Katherine you are not alone. For the longest when people didn’t meet my expectations I cut them off. I’m learning that everyone flows at their own pace. You got this.
I am so glad you understand. I guess I am still kind of working on accepting people as they are. Also realizing each person has a different purpose in my life.
It sounds like your expectations are hurting you more than protecting you. Nobody is perfect, but if you never give anyone a try you won’t get to see if they not only can meet your expectations but exceed them. We have all been hurt and disappointed, but life is to be shared. We can’t thrive in the manner we should be if we are shut off. Growth is outside of our comfort zone.
That is so true. I am trying to challenge myself to get outside of my comfort zone. I want to have a better life and experience more.
Sometimes my expectations are so high they can seem unreachable. Its good to have high expectations but also have patience with yourself.
I think having mine as high as they are is my way of giving myself an excuse to not let people in. Even though I want to do it.
There is nothing wrong with having high expectations, you just have to know the balance. It’s a learning process for everyone and you have to give yourself grace. Thanks for being transparent!
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Thanks for that advice. I definitely need to balance it.