I have noticed that lately I been really negative in my life lately. If anything negative happens with me at least once I will let it ruin my entire day. I mean it really doesn’t even take too much. Especially if it is something that I’m planning and it doesn’t go the way I want it to. I just literally am unhappy. It can also be something that is really frustrating to me. If I don’t think I can talk to the person involved I find myself snapping at others around me.
So this week I have been working on not letting anything that I consider negative completely ruin my day. I really do just let it consume me. For instance something happened at work to where a parent wasn’t exactly happy and I talked about the situation for a full three days. I really could have been focused on other things. I would try to think about other things but then it would right back around to the same subject. What finally brought me out of it was I realized my boss wasn’t worried about it because I handled the situation in the correct matter. So if he wasn’t worried about then why was I putting my energy into it the way I was so I finally decided to just move on. I also set new boundaries in the way I would handle the parent of the situation occurred again. Once I did that I felt like it was okay to move on. Cause that’s all I can do. I can’t go back and change what happened but I can be better prepared in the future. I have to realize sometimes all I can do is my best and someone’s even that isn’t enough. I also realized I was upset that I failed the parent and that nothing I could say or do could fix it. But it also isn’t my job to make that parent happy. I have a job to do and that is my focus.
Then I also get disappointed when things don’t go as planned. So like if I have a plan and something goes wrong with it it puts me in a funk. I feel like whenever I try to plan something and it doesn’t go right I feel like a failure. I actually plan for it to go wrong. I’m more surprised when things go right than when they go wrong. If they go wrong I’m like I knew this was going to happen. I more plan for things to fail than to succeed. Then if things start to go wrong I can’t figure out how to pivot once things start going down hill I go with it. I’m so stuck on my original plan that I just can’t see past it to find another plan. Plus it’s like why keep trying if it was already ruined.
So my goal is to learn to not let anything big or small ruin my day. I have to learn to protect my peace and to pivot when I need to. No one should be able to change my mood so easily. I can acknowledge my feelings about my situation and deal with those feelings but every little thing shouldn’t turn into me talking about it for days. I’m not a negative person. I consider myself to be very happy and positive. Except when I’m upset and I don’t want to stay that way. So I’m going to work to improve it. So more positive and less negativity will be coming into my life.
