La La Land Mommy: I Thought I Was Improving
As parents, we should always be looking to improve the way we are raising our kids. Whether your baby is becoming a toddler and you look for advice on Stuff4tots, you’re having difficulties connecting with your child, or you just want to try a new parenting style, there’s always a way to improve the way you parent. But why am I discussing the topic of parenting today?
Well, a few months ago I watched the show Soul Sunday and Oprah’s Lifeclass where Dr. Shefali Tsabary was a guest. She introduced me to the world of conscious parenting. When I saw the show I immediately knew that I wanted to give this style of parenting a try. I haven’t read the book yet but I plan too. I tried to just tried to use some of her advice from the show and try to be calmer. I actually thought I was doing pretty good. Then this past Sunday Dr. Shefali waso n Oprah’s Lifeclass for a second time. This time she was talking to children and their parents were watching as the kids talked about what they needed from their parents and how they felt about their parenting style. I was pleasantly surprised by some of the children’s responses and it gave me the idea of asking my kids what they thought of me when I was angry. I actually asked them to show me what they saw when I was angry with them. I honestly thought they were being nice. I had to convince them it was okay and I wouldn’t be angry.
This is Nishe’ first:
This is Tyler:
I must say I learned a lot from having them do this. When I see them do it I realize I can be a bit scary. I know if someone were to come to me the way I approach them I would not be happy. Sometimes you actually have to see something or experience something to realize how it makes someone else feels. Now I’ve promised them that I would try to be calmer when having to discipline them but at the same time I told them that this is a team effort and that for me to remain calm they need to do their part as well. Most times when I get to the point of yelling I’ve repeated something to them multiple times. But I’ve decided to try to remain calm then too.
I don’t want them to see me like this:
Angry Parenting
But like this:
How I Want To Be Seen
Has there ever been a moment that made you change how you parent?
Sometimes it’s hard to stay calm when there is more than just parenting going on.
Nicole @Nici’sChatterBox recently posted…Fall Tv so far
It really is. I told them that I can’t promise to never yell again but I can try to tone it down.
I am not a momma (yet!) but I think these are great tips for sure.
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Thanks. Just trying to be the best mom I can be.
Interestingly enough, I recently attended a conference where Dr. Tsabary was the speaker. I disagree with her about a majority of her points even though I respect her passion for conscious parenting. However, I think it is great you took the opportunity to find out what your children feel they need from you. 🙂
I don’t think I will ever fully agree with all her views but I do think she made some valid points. I just would like to be a little calmer. I have a tendency to be overdramatic.
You are brave, awesomama! It takes a lot to face those little people and allow them to express themselves, even if it might hurt your feelings. It does help us to realize how we look to them in those moments of lost patience. I hope you continue to reach toward your goal of conscious parenting!! 🙂
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My 4 year old told me my face looks like “this too much” then made a horribly angry face. He checked me on my emotions and how I treat him, so I’m a work in progress too.
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I think it is great to see the way they think. I think it keeps the lines of communication open.
What a smart idea to ask them to show how they see you. We are never going to stay calm all the time, but trying our hardest is never wrong. I fail at this often too! Especially when I’m tired at the end of the day and I’m just DONE. Thanks for sharing!
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