I didn’t used to see myself as a person who had to have control until I recently started thinking about how my household is run. I pretty much have to have most things done my way. Like nothing is right unless it’s done my way. Because of this I find myself doing most things myself. If I do things that way then I’m ensured that things get done the way I think they should.
Because of the way I am it often leads to me not asking for help or makes my kids weary of helping me. I mean I show them the way I want things and then if it isn’t that way I wind up going behind them and fixing it or just doing it myself. I also at times can be the worse micromanager. I am realizing that, that isn’t good at all. It can teach my kids not to trust themselves. Which they already doubt themselves now. So I am going to hand over some of the house responsibilities to the kids because I honestly I can’t do it all myself of course and trying to do it all is equaling up to nothing being done at all. So I really need the help. Besides I figure I mind as well use the help why I have it. Things will be easier for The Husband and I when we come home from work.
La La Land Mommy: Relinquishing Control
I gave my kids their first task yesterday. I told them that they had to fix dinner when I wasn’t there. This was to protect them from my micromanaging tendencies. My friend asked why didn’t I just stay upstairs but I told her I wanted them to not lean on me or anything. I gave them the easiest meal in the world. I told them to cook spaghetti. Over the years my kids have helped me with dinner but I have never let them just fix a meal themselves. Even when I go to work I usually cook something before I leave. But one is almost an adult and one is an adult so it’s time that I let them do more. Most kids are cooking when they are like 12 or 13 so they are late in the game because of me. I also thought spaghetti is a great brother and sister activity. That’s another reason I told them to do it alone. When I came home I was ready to eat. So I fixed me a plate of spaghetti and it was so good. I was really proud of them.
So now that I know they can fix this I am ready to see what else they can do. I think the more I trust them the more they will trust themselves. But also I need to trust my family myself. I don’t have to do everything.
