This weekend I learned sobering about myself. I have moments where I will pay attention to what I’m doing and realize there is something I need to work on. That is what happened this weekend. So it’s time for a little story time.
The husband and I made plans to go to Target so that I could get this hair product that I wanted to try. Then we got to talking about doing something he and I both wanted to do. We wanted to visit a store that we heard about. So the plan was to visit this store and then go to Target. Well when we got to the store we discovered that the store was closed. Apparently they are doing renovations. That would have been nice to know before we drive all the way out there. It was 30 minutes from our home. So we started to make our way to Target. As we are driving he asked me if it was okay that instead of going to the store today if we could go tomorrow. I said yes because I knew he was disappointed about the store being closed and he was ready to go home. But what I really wanted to do was go to the store and get this hair product. After saying okay I had a bit of an attitude because I really wanted to go. However because the plans changed I was annoyed. The husband since I had a problem and he took me to Walmart. Which was sweet of him because he is not a fan of the store. We sent inside and they didn’t have the product that I wanted so I got something else and decided that I would get the other product another time. I later confessed that I really wanted to go to the store we talked about. I apologized to him because I made the decision to just do what he wanted and then blamed him for it. When all I had to do was be honest and say what I really wanted. He asked me and I was the one who decided to go along with what he wanted.
This is a common occurrence for me. I will make a decision and then blame the other person for me not getting what I want or need. I really just don’t want to disappoint the person or make them do what they are clearly over. So in order not to do that I will just go along with what the person wants. Which is unfair to me and to them. I can’t continually dismiss myself and then make it the other person’s fault. The husband and I spoke about it in more detail today and he was like next time I need to be honest. He said I need to stop always worrying about him and make a decision truly based on a what I want to do. He’s not saying to not ever think about him but sometimes it’s more important for me to consider myself. So now that I know I do this it’s totally something I’m going to work on.
