Yesterday I decided to try a new hairstyle. I tried doing cornrows with added braiding hair in my hair. Now I know that I have only tried this style one other time so I am trying to practice showing myself some grace. I am just so hard on myself because I really want things to turn out perfect. Like I feel like when I learn a skill that I should be able to get it right the first time. I don’t give myself enough time to learn the skill and get it right over time. I feel like it has to be right the first time or nothing. Plus I am subconsciously always worried about people talking about me because my hair isn’t up to their standards. I finished my hair and it is okay but I already know it could have been better. My husband asks me why I don’t get it done professionally. I just want to learn to do it myself. But honestly, even if I got it done professionally, I would be worried about what other people thought of the hairstyle. I have nothing against anyone who intends to go to a Women’s/Mens Barber Shop to get a haircut or style their hair differently. And it may always be preferable for those who are concerned about their appearance and do not want to jeopardize it at any cost. However, I want to learn new things. Also, how am I going to be a pro at the task if I don’t practice?
I wish I could describe exactly how my anxiety builds when I try something different. I’ve been told I need to calm myself down beforehand and to look at different ways I can do that, from seeing how to Blessed CBD öl kaufen to practicing meditation, each ones of these could help, I just need to get the ball rolling. Sometimes when I first do the Hairstyle or try a new outfit I’ll start out feeling great. I still think I look good. Then slowly I start finding things wrong with the hairstyle or outfit. Once I find one thing it’s down hill from there. Sometimes I immediately start feeling nervous. Like for my current hairstyle I knew my parts weren’t perfect and it wasn’t really tight. Let’s just say itit didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to. So I figured if I hate it for sure everyone else is going to hate it. Because I hate the way it turned out I tried to prepare myself for the negative comments I almost swore was coming. Cause I wanted to own the hairstyle. I was proud I did it myself but I hated the way it turned out. Because I hated it I felt like everyone else was going to hate it as well. I was second from taking my hair down but I talked myself into wearing it for at least one day. So I wore it today and decided that If something negative was said I would hold my pride in doing my hair and being Brave enough to try a new style. I was not going to let my own fear of judgement to make me not wear this style with pride. So I forced myself to face the fear and wear the style.
I faced my fear and wore the style to work. Let’s just say what I predicted was going to happen didn’t happen at all. No one but me cared about my parts being crooked and it being loose. One of the kids actually walked up to me and was like hey we have the same color hair. I came to the conclusion that I assumed everyone else would hate my hairstyle because I hated it and it really just made my anxiety go crazy. I lost sleep for absolutely no reason. If this condition persists for a long time, I might need to visit a therapy center to cure my anxiety and depression. Individuals often hesitate to acknowledge problems like trauma, burnout, and drug addiction in front of others because they fear that the hearers will make a mockery of their issues. That’s why it is better to visit a local care center (like Chiang Mai Thailand rehab center) that can understand our problems better than those people.
I’m honestly just glad that I didn’t talk myself out of wearing a hairstyle that I did on myself and I owned it. I shook off my and wore my work with pride. I really was proud of my attempt. I’m going to show myself some Grace and realize I need more practice and nothing is wrong with that.