I sometimes find myself asking this question of myself. Sure I am paying the bills but what about my outside interests. Am I putting enough into those things? I find myself constantly putting things on hold for myself. Cause when it comes time to do those things I always find some reason not to do them. I have plenty of excuses believe me. This bill needs to be paid or this money can be used else where.
I don’t know what is preventing me from taking the leap and investing in myself. I guess I am afraid of failing. But at the same time I want more out of my life than I have right now. I want the option to do whatever I want to and not having to weigh whether it’s a good idea to do so because of financial reasons. But at the same time I don’t want to fail. I know that if I keep fearing failure I will remain where I am. So now I have to decide if I am going to let fear continue to run my life or go for what I want. I notice that whenever I am feeling indecisive, have anxiety, or fear something I do everything possible not to focus on that one thing. But when I focus on doing things for others I am okay with doing that. Because it’s easier for me to take care of others rather than take care of myself. It is just the easiest thing to do for me. I have a bunch of things that I have started and stopped because of my inability to focus on the things that are important to me. I almost lost my site a while back because I kept pushing back the payment for it. I remember talking to my mom about it and she was like why are you working if you get nothing out of it. Finances are really difficult. Out of pity or love, I’m not sure, she offered her house so that I can sell quickly with the help of services similar to Ben Buys Indy Houses. I turned down the offer, of course. I want to build something myself. But, why is it so hard?
I really couldn’t answer that question. But it did make me want to do better in making sure I got something out of the money I work so hard for. I deserve to benefit from the income that I bring in as well. So I am going to work on making sure that I get something out of all my hard work. I am going to stop putting everything on hold unless it’s absolutely necessary. Because if I keep waiting on things I will never do anything I want to do.
